I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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