I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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