You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
even my farts smell like vagina
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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