So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
