I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
