He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
