can u get pink eye on your cock?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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