The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
