So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
They are going to name an STD after you.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
