She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
