video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
