everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
