did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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