my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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