this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I touched a dick in church today
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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