stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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