Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
