belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize