oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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