Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
