he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
