Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
