508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize