just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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