I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
