Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize