So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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