I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize