Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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