Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
