Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
