I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
