I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Randomize
