dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
