So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
