Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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