Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
