Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
