They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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