haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
