high people should be assigned attendants
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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