Kiss
Puke
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
