His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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