If that was your dad, he is hot
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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