Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
