omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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