Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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