3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
