Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize