I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
