No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize