anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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