i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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