I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
