i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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