Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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