You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
