just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I FOUND THE LEGS
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
