Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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