would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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