There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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